The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
