He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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