This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
