Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
We are two peas in an std pod
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
