Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
