I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I have already put on my inside pants.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
