In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
