We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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