turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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