Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
