She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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