I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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