Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize