i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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