I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
