You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
