so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
