So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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