He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
