Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
her vagine was all disorganized.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
