Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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