There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
