so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
