At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
