She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
