As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
