When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
