Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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