CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
