Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
