That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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