yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
worst night to have a conscience
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
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