whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
My feet surprised me
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