Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
