Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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