You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
