On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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