Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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