Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
