We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
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