I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
