My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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