Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
