grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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