I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
