# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I have post one night stand depression
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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