i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
