I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
