whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
