her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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